[DANNY WOOL, SV411]
There’s something about apples and being a prude. Adam and Eve took a bite of the Apple and said, “Oh no! We’re nekkid.” Born of that were bloomers and chadors, as well as Borat’s oddly enticing mankini. “An apple a day keeps the doctor away,” so eat your apples, kids, and stop playing doctor.
Now Apple is getting into the apple game, by disallowing apps on its iPhones and iPads that celebrate the naked form. There is no female nudity allowed on Apple’s apps, thanks to one Mr. Steve Jobs, who has been compared to the ayatollahs. In fact, some people are wondering whether the “i” in iPhone stands for Iran.
The repercussions are global. German magazine Stern once earned an avid readership by featuring topless models, but since Apple banned its app, Stern has been posting its models in bikini tops, à la Sports Illustrated, which still has its app.
How far will Apple go with this? It’s hard to tell, but one can hope that they will not start censoring the great works of art as well. After all:
There once was a sculptor called Phidias,
Who had a distaste for the hideous.
So he sculpted Aphrodite
Without any nightie,
Which shocked the ultra-fastidious.